It’s not an easy thing to talk about, you know, about mental health, about depression. It’s not. It’s not easy to do. It’s not easy to sit behind this computer screen and to tap the keys and write about it. It’s obviously super hard. It’s really very hard. And it’s even harder to write about suicide.
And that’s why Chris Stapleton’s music video for, “Fire Away” was really, very hard for me to digest. The video portrays this beautiful, happy couple, and then simultaneously, shows the pair being torn apart by depression. The brutality of that force comes alive on film, and it’s just so sad. But it’s a reality.
How many of us have been touched or know someone who has died by suicide? Someone in our family, a friend, an old lover. Suicide is not uncommon. And mental health issues are also, by that same token, not uncommon.
And that’s what depression does, and can do. It tears people apart, and in its wake, it tears relationships and families apart. It isolates you. It causes you to push people away. It makes you feel so awful, and so alone.
I’ve often wondered, you know, why my fiancée is willing to spend the rest of his life with someone who has periodic, or waves of depression. I’m a pretty happy person, at least these days, for the most part, but when I get hit with the mental flu, it’s hard on us. It looks like me sleeping and not preparing supper. It’s me going to bed, and sleeping in. It’s me not wanting to go out or to do anything. And it sucks. It sucks a big one.
But he loves me, and I love him. And so, depression can go to hell. It can just get lost.
I wish in the “Fire Away” video, that the missy didn’t end her life. It just bothers me. And it’s supposed to bother us. That’s the point. It illustrates just how final suicide is. And I hate that. I hate that it stole her love, and that it stole her life. I hate that mental illness can make a person feel so small, and so hopeless, and so incapable of moving past it.
I hate that it can make one feel like life isn’t worth living. That the emotional pain is just so great that it’s not worth fighting. That’s so sad. And so, I wish. I wish that the music video had shown that there is hope. That their love could conquer anything. That depression was no match for their relationship. But that wasn’t the point. The point was putting on film a reality that as a society it’s easier not to talk about these things, or to be silent about them. Bringing it up is a bit of a buzz kill. But being quiet means that people literally die. They die. And that’s just not okay at all.
The point, again this is my opinion, was to remind us that depression is destructive, and often leads to the complete and total loss of beautiful lives, beautiful souls. The video spoke to me and said, “let’s talk about this shit. We need to talk about it. We need to talk about what’s happening when suicide becomes the only answer.” And I said, “yep. This is just not cool.”
Did the lady in the vid try counseling? treatment? Did she exhaust all resources that were available to her? Did she feel comfortable enough to do so? Did her husband minimalize it? Did he say, you know, “honey, you don’t need medication,” or “maybe you’re acting this way because you’re on your period?”
Who knows? And maybe he didn’t know what to do, because no one has ever had that conversation with him. Maybe his partner felt completely and totally alone. Maybe she didn’t feel like she could talk to him about it? Maybe she felt like a burden and she wanted to stop being a burden. Maybe she didn’t know that she wasn’t a burden at all.
And still none of this is his fault. It’s no ones fault. And the guilt that he’ll likely feel for the remainder of his life is just utterly unfair.
And that’s why these conversations need to start being had, and being taken seriously. Because there’s a world of people out there who are suffering in complete and total silence. And these are the same people who enrich our lives. They are sometimes quite often the same people who laugh and make witty and hilarious jokes. Who are all smiles and light up our lives. And they never tell us, what battle they’re fighting. They don’t want to burden us, or bring us down. You see, we never know who’s sitting on their bedroom floor screeching with their head in their hands, wondering, “Why me? Why? Why me?”
They need to know that they are not alone, and that things can and do get better. Is it hard? Absolutely. But it’s a beautiful world. And life is worth it. And we have the strength within ourselves. There’s support. And mostly, if you’re reading this and you’re feeling like you’re in a dark pit. Know that I’ve been there too, and that I’ve crawled out. Did I get some bruises? Well, yah. Have they healed? Well, yah. Did I get some scars? Well, yes I did. But those scars have made me stronger. They’re my war scars. And they were worth the battle.
If you need someone to talk to google the mental health crisis line in your region. Get your butt to a clinic, or to a doctor. Look into counseling services. Do what you need to do. Depression is temporary. But suicide is forever.
And if you need support making contact or calls, and there’s noone in your life that you feel comfortable going to, you can message me and I will help you get whatever information it is that you need.
Here’s the vid if you want to see what I’m talking about. ..